The need for love and approval

From now on I will be writing more in english.
Everything we do is to fill our most basic needs. Especially the need for love and approval. 
So what happens if we don't love and accept ourselves? If we deep down only think we are worthy when we achieve something?
''When I get that thing I'll be happy.'' 
We start searching for ways to fill it outside of ourselves. We go on instagram in the hunt for likes. The more followers the better. The less clothes the better. The facade becomes more important than authenticity and then we look at other peoples fake lives and retouched bodies and compare ourselves. Feeling bad if we can't keep up with something that doesn't even exist.
We spend money to buy things we don't need to impress other people. We reach for anything that will increase our status. We only buy that expensive bag to get a feeling of significance, if we already felt that way would we still feel the need to buy it?
We try to fill ourselves with other people to feel whole. We think If someone else loves us maybe that will save us from the job of doing it ourselves.
''When I get that persons love I'll be happy.''
Not only do we use other people to feel whole but we chose them for the wrong reasons. We become shallow, not only with ourselves but with the ones we keep close. Do they have the right look, the right clothes the right job? It's not: ''Will this person make me a better person?'' Its: ''Look what I've got everybody!''
I want you to start gathering information from the inside instead of the outside. That's the only place you're ever gonna find what you're looking for.
Try spending a whole day not being addicted to getting validation from the outside world.
When was the last time you were off instagram for a whole day?
When was the last time you were completeley alone with yourself?
When was the last time you were present?
''There is nothing outside of you that can help in any lasting way unless you are waiting for an organ. You can't buy, achieve or date serenity or peace of mind. It's an inside job.''
- Anne Lamott
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