I have had so many that they barely shake me anymore! I have literally been an emotional wreck on the floor more times than I can count, especially during my anxiety period. Breakdowns over fear, breakdowns over my depression, over love, over criticising myself too hard and over loneliness.
Man, I felt sorry for myself. Every time I thought:
- Okey, NOW It can't get any worse! As I sobbed hysterically.
We have all been there right? (please tell me Im not alone haha). So why doesn't it bother me anymore? Did I in fact gain something from it?
Indeed. I got clarity, I got a higher awareness, I got a broader perspective and it brought me closer to my heart. Often what we think is a punishment is the exact oposite, Its a blessing. Because what exists in the other end of a breakdown? Relief and authenticity.
Its like a damn cleanse! Never have I ever felt so pure as I do after a breakdown.
I don't call them breakdowns anymore I call them spiritual awakenings. Honestly, Isnt it more of a breakthrough than a breakdown?
''Im falling apart and it feels fantastic!''
Thats my new motto when it happens.
To illustrate my point, I used to feel like this:
Now its more this: